I don't mean relationships. I am most definately poly and see no good reason to end a relationship to start another. But I have this other habit that I've been aware of for awhile when I discover a new activity I'm passionate about. I tend to throw myself into something, learning everything I can about it, submerging myself in the culture of it, obsessing over it. Then, it's not that I get bored of it but normally something happens, maybe drama, and I drop the activity for awhile. Slowly I'll remember what it was I loved about it and I'll figure outs way to work it into my life at a reasonable, balanced level. In the mean time I have moved onto the next passion/distraction/cycle. Some examples.
I took up taekwondo. Within 3 years I had black belt in taekwondo, a purple belt in Japanese jujitsu. I had lost 80 lb and competed in my first full contact match. I spent 10 days in Korea studying the culture and history of taekwondo. I was teaching aerobic kickboxing and little tots classes. Then I got pregnant, had a miscarriage, had an affair with my sinsai, got a divorce and was exiled from the school. I haven't studied martial arts since but I have spent a lot of time coming to terms with the issues that were raised. Realizing I don't want kids, and that monogamy isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Shortly after that I went on my first skydive. In the first month I had my license and a month later my own gear. I made about 300 jumps in my first year of skydiving. I was very unhappy in my job at the time so I took a leave of absence to go skydiving for a year. I lived in a trailer on a dropzone and packed parachutes for extra cash. I was remarried in the back of an airplane and kissed in freefall. The costs of skydiving are high and I don't always mean money. The person who bought my couch - dead, my neighbor with the beautiful flowers outside his trailer - dead, the guy with the hot Russian wife in front of me on the plane - parapelegic, the cool guy that welcomed us to the new dropzone - dead... and it goes on...they were all preventable... all dumb mistakes that you say will never happen to you. The one day when it's me...almost dead, I threw up. Everybody says you gotta get back on the horse/bike/skydive and I did. My wedding ring is engraved with, 'blue skies, black death'. Last year I made 1 jump. This year I have a goal to make 20-50 jumps.
Next passion...knitting, yup, knitting. I've always been pretty creative and after evacuating for hurricane Katrina I had a lot free time on my hands. I picked up some cheap yarn and started crocheting which my grandmother had taught me when I was about 10 years old. Then I happened across one of those cute little yarn stores with the fancy yarn and was amazed but still stuck with my trusty crochet. Until one day I went into the cutest yarn shop and someone was knitting socks. I couldn't crochet socks like that. So I learned how to knit. Within a year I had designed and sold my first sock pattern. I had stash many knitting years beyond my life expectancy. I had been to knitting conventions and had physical therapy for 'knitters elbow'. Then I had some difficulties with one of my long time bulk pattern customers who wasn't pleased with some custom work I did. I took a break. I've gone back to knitting and even some designing but don't sale patterns anymore.
I've been riding motorcycles for 5-6 years. At the peak I put almost 11k miles on my bike in one season. I did a 1000 mile ride in 24 hours. I was in a riding club and lead group rides and am confident in my riding. I rode in cold and rain and was miserable. Now I consider myself a fair weather rider. I don't have to ride for transportation, I do it for pleasure, so why not, do it when it's most pleasurable.
I see a pattern and now there's bdsm. Do I just let it run its course? Being aware of the pattern do I try to limit the 'obession' stage? I also keep thinking that it's sex and there's so many kinks to explore how can I not be intrigued? And even though there's a pattern there's also a trigger type event in the examples and I'm not sure how to predict that in this scenario.
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