Pushing Past the Physical - Humiliation

The only way into truth is through ones own annihilation; through dwelling a long time in a state of extreme and total humiliation. - Simone Weil

To lower pride, dignity, or self respect - to humiliate.

How can a person want to be stripped of their pride, dignity and self respect? Just like a masochist searching for physical pain to stimulate adrenalin and endorphin release; stress, fear and emotional pain have been shown to activate the same areas of the brain and release the same hormones. Learning to process the mental is very similar to the physical.

Tomatoes Can Be Torture Part 1, Part 2, Part 3.

While receiving physical pain my goal is to loose my physical being. To be so in the moment, so in the pain that there is no longer any pain. There's only the Sadist and the whip. When I hit that spot I sometimes feel like I'm watching from outside my body and I no longer exist physically. Then when the cuffs are released and Daddy catches my body I am released as well - from the stress at work, from the bills, from that argument, from that nightmare - and all is well.

Humiliation is different in nuance with similar effect. I am a strong willed and independant woman. I am in charge of my house and job. Start to take all of that away and what is left? Call me names, make me do things I find distasteful and degrading... keep going and just like with pain, I'm no longer that strong willed and independent woman. I no longer exist and there's only the Sadist and his mind. Then Daddy hugs me and calls me his good girl and I'm released - it no longer matters if I screwd up at work, or was in a bad mood, or if money is tight.

Being humiliated in a bdsm scene does not make me less of woman. It does not mean I enjoy random insults hurled from the street - just as with enjoying a beating doesn't mean I like being hit with a shopping cart by strangers in the store. The intent is different, the expectation is different. It may not be everyones cup of tea, sometimes it tastes a little bitter, but the mystery at the bottom of the cup calls my name.